Sunday, April 27, 2014

Yearning

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I am struggling to write a blog post lately.
It's not block (perish the thought) because I'm writing. I'm just not writing here.
I think the best writing is emotion driven. For me anyway.  If something is weighing heavy on my mind, I feel flooded with words.  It's like they all coming running to the door waving their little word-hands and screaming, "Write me! Write me!" I choose them carefully, and since I am primarily a fiction writer, most of them wear a disguise.
Knowledge.  Vulnerability.  Yearning.  Freedom. Peace.
I would say these are central themes of my thirties.  Acquiring knowledge and learning what I want.  Knowing what I want and being vulnerable enough to admit it... and telling people as needed.  Once I've admitted it and let it be known, yearning for it with every flutter of my soul and truth in my energy.  And once I have it... once I am living life as it is intended... well...
I'll be free.
...and with freedom comes peace.
I think there is a little bit of that in all my writing these days.  At varying stages. 
My latest work is about yearning.  The more I say the word.  The more I love it.  Say it out loud. It tastes bitter, with a possibility of sweet.
Nia Long, Love Jones

Merriam-Webster describes yearning as a tender or urgent longing
I immediately conjure up images of a young woman sitting at a table in an empty room, her forehead nestled into the corner of her elbow, tears wetting the bare skin beneath her and her mind filled with images of something she wants more than her life.  Something she wants so badly, she is finding it hard to function... hard to bring the right words to her lips.  Hard to string together coherent thoughts.
The thing about yearning is, it can come in various forms.  Is she dreaming of love, motherhood, her declining health, a deceased family member... a long overdue career change?
I haven't decided.
But she wants something.  She needs something.
And as an artist, that desire is filled up and fed with possibility. 
So, I'm writing.  Just not here. But I promise I'll share it soon.


Love and Light,
Faye

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