Postponing Joy

Not gonna lie.
This journey to publication is a bit of a rollercoaster.
I'm not just talking about the NOs because those I expected.  I'm talking about the "Ehhh, maybe," "Ack! We love it! But, now we don't," and "Yeeesss.....I mean NOOOOOO!" moments.  Those so-close-you-can-almost-touch-it-but-now-I-am-snatching-it-away-and-laughing-at-you moments.  Okay... so no one is actually laughing.

I got some pretty darn awesome "maybe" news recently.   However, in response to my very real history of publishing-induced trauma, I talked myself down from any happiness I was feeling before I shared it with anyone. 

That's amazing, my best friend said after I finally told her.
No. I responded. We will not be excited.  We are cautiously optimistic.  Then I broke into my best pre-Oscar 'I'm just grateful to be nominated' speech.
Why are you always postponing your joy?
NO! You need to claim it and own it, and stop talking yourself down.

Now, this particular friend works for the Queen of Optimism and Positivity, the big O herself, Oprah Winfrey.  Outwardly, I told her to stop pushing her agenda on me and got off the phone.  Inwardly, I knew she was right.  You see, this particular friend has been unabashedly open about the things she wants.   She puts it out there and claims it like she isn't cripplingly afraid it won't come true.  As if failure would just be a stumble and she would "running man" it off and keep going.

I really, really admire that.

So, in honor of that admiration... and my desire to never be called a joy post-poner again... I'll admit it.  I'm excited.  I'm excited, and I won't feel bad about it.  I'm excited, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Love and Light,


  1. You should be excited. Excited for what's to come. I know I am. For my writing. For your writing. We rock and our "I'm a successful, published author!" moment is coming. Live in that moment and be happy and grateful for it.

  2. Go ahead and be excited!

    Here's to great news coming soon!

  3. Yay! (Says another resident of Camp Cautious Optimism. Time to relocate to where joy abides...) Cheering you on, friend!


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