Naughty Muse

A good friend of mine finished my book, Boyfriend, a few weeks ago.  She offered to read it alooonngg time ago but it took me some time to build up the courage to send it.  She is an avid reader (which means she can sniff out crap), and although we have developed a great friendship through our almost four years of knowing each other, we met in my other life.  You know, the one were I am stuffy suit who doesn't waste words? But after my final edit, my confidence grew, and I decided to stop being a punk and take her up on her offer.  I was still really, really nervous.   Even though my book isn't about me, it is a pretty raw reveal into my imagination.  My take on pain... heartache... drugs... abuse... and sex.

And sex.

The book is about a college guy struggling to be a good guy in a relationship when everything around him is tempting him to stray... including his girlfriend's best friend.   He is layered.  He has a complex, abusive past and unresolved issues with his family.  However, the book takes the raw, honest journey with him through it all, and that journey naturally involves... sex.

My friend read the book in less than a week (and cried at the end... she is amazing) and not only did she read it, she provided me with instant text commentary.  One night, I was drinking a glass of wine (and chewing my fingernails) when I got a text from her that said (direct quote):  This is some seriously hot shit, dude! It makes me feel awkward knowing that you wrote it... It's seriously good! So good I have to try to forget it came from your brain because it kind of dampers the hotness.  

Translation: You are a mental whore. 

It's true.
Don't get me wrong, it's no Fifty Shades of Grey (or what I imagine Fifty Shades to be, I still haven't read it).  It is far from erotica.   The book has sex but the sex isn't the book.  However, to tell Nate's story, I had to dive head first (and swim all up in) the mind of a twenty-something college guy.  And not the kind of guy you marry- the kind of guy who broke your heart.  I wrote and said some things in the book I can barely read out loud.   One night, at about 2am, I was huddled over my laptop writing one particularly intense scene when my two year old woke up and came charging into the room.  I shut my laptop like I had been caught doing something wrong.  Nate can be a pretty dirty boy...  the muse was writing shamelessly, probably laughing while she did it.  Me? I was huddled in the corner reeking in my Catholic guilt.

I can't be the only one that blames my muse for naughty things...

Needless to say, the book was an out of box, exhilarating, challenging, fun, emotional and sexy experience.  And I will be probably be hiding under my kitchen table when its released (but don't worry, the muse will be at the book signings :-)). 

Love and Light,


  1. My muse and your muse should have coffee. Or go to the sex store, either one. My sister said the same thing about Perry's almost sex scene. It made her uncomfortable. And want to jump on her husband! Eww, Sis! Too much info...

  2. I love Stefon. He cracks me up every time. ;)

    1. I keep rereading this post just to look back at the clip! lol. I was so sad when I heard he was leaving SNL. Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig never fail to make me laugh

  3. Sounds like your friend gave you the encouragement you need.

  4. Hahaha! I remember reading that one of Nabokov's students said that s/he couldn't believe "Lolita" came from the mind of a man who couldn't even read aloud from "Ulysses." Also, I've been meaning to ask where you got the picture of Nate.

  5. I found it on pintrest! I couldn't find the original and it has been shared all over the internet. I usually get my pictures from Flickr under Creative Commons. I don't really picture Nate looking like this but he feels like this - if that makes sense. LOL about Nabokov. I can totally relate.


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